Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator Review – Buy Lobe, Sell Eye
Developed and published by Strange Scaffold
Available on Xbox Series X/S, PC
MSRP $19.99
In the world of video games, it’s unusual to get a truly unique concept. Developer Xalavier Nelson has shown an ability to think of insane ideas, and then make them reality. His entry in the first Dread X Collection, Mr. Bucket Told Me To, was the stuff of red-eyed teens lounging in bean bag chairs in a smoky room somewhere; “Man, what if you were deserted on an island, and the bucket you threw away started haunting you?”. Nelson makes concepts and then, in opposition to everyone who has great ideas but never follows up…he follows up. Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator is another concept brought to beautiful fruition.
“Man, what if buying and selling organs on a special market is the end point of late-stage capitalism?” What if indeed, imaginary stoner I made up for this review. It is the grim dark, non-Warhammer future and you are scum. Scum in the sense that you want to trade organs, but you’ve got no clout, no rep, no connections, and a very small organ freezer. Folks will pop in to help. Before you get into the fast-paced world of organ trading, you need a face. Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator provides a staggering amount of profile pictures to help show the world what kind of trader you are. I’m a boring bit of work so I chose the closed-face astronaut helmet. I wanted to come off as mysterious but also worldly. Off-worldly. Because astronaut.
I then started out as pure, useless scum. I couldn’t hang with the big dogs with my 2,500 credits in the bank. I needed to make a name for myself. In Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator you do this by fulfilling requests. Requests will pop up in a tab on the right side of your screen, and is a place to up your reputation and make cash. You choose which requests to take and which to ignore or abandon. People need organs, and each requester has a bit of story and an organ in mind for you. Sometimes it’ll be someone who saw something awful and had to gouge out their own eyes, so they’re looking for eyes. You need to balance how much they’re offering for a particular organ with the going price in the open market. It’s unwise to buy a 1,000 credit eye for a 255 credit request.
Each organ in the market has a size, quality, blood type, and other qualifiers. Some folks want high-quality organs, others want some real low-quality stuff to skim a few bucks off the top. Completing these requests and upping your reputation in the world of organ trading is a secondary goal of the game. The primary goal is following a storyline to its conclusion. In the storyline I went through in my first playthrough, I was looking to have a dangerous person assassinated. To do this, I had to provide organs to a certain person requesting them. In-between these requests I worked the organ market, taking smaller requests and buying stocks. Oh yeah, you can buy stock in organs. When the open trading day is over, you can put money into different organ stocks.
I sunk a ton of cash on a dip in stomach prices, only to forget about it. When I checked back, prices were up 310%. I sold my shares in stomach and used it for fancier organs. You can also use your combined wealth to buy bigger storage for organs. This is pretty much the only use for your money outside of buying organs. Then again, I wouldn’t expect to buy things other than organs, in the game Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator. I should touch on the graphics a bit, because they’re gross. Like gross in a good way. When you click on an organ to check its stats, you get a gross 3D model of it pulsating next to its stats. It really gets across the creepiness of the organ trade. As you gain rep you’ll gain access to new and exciting organs. Often organs that don’t exist in our puny society. It’s the future BAYBEE! Organs don’t have to conform to today’s standards!
I got to the point where other traders were eating my figurative lunch. A cool dog was buying all of the high-quality organs before I could even check their stats. It was getting annoying. Thankfully, before the trading floor opens, you can check who is going to be buying that day. You can see what they prefer to buy, and underneath their portraits, you can choose to pay them off. If you pay them off, they won’t show up that day, allowing you free reign on the market. Now granted, on days when 2-3 traders show up, it becomes much harder to pay off all the traders. You have to balance out whether you’d make more money by paying them to stay home, or if it’s wiser to just compete with them. It’s a fun system that adds some challenge to Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator.
It isn’t hard to beat Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator. I was just plugging along, buying organ stocks, enjoying myself. I checked a request and someone wanted some gigantic lungs. I popped over to the market and picked them up. I hit the “fulfill” button and the screen turned white. I got a short bit of story about what happened to the dangerous trader I had killed near the beginning of the game. I was then dropped into a stat screen which told me how many breaths I took during the game. Breaths are how the game keeps track of time, keeping with its theme of being uncomfortable and weird. I was then shown a screen stating that I had found one of seven endings. I headed back to the main menu, and started a new game.
Space Warlord Organ Simulator is weird, wonderful, and super uncomfortable. It is a blast. I can’t wait to find the other endings. I want to follow different threads and meet new strange creatures. If you’re interested in the illicit organ trade, you should definitely pick up Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator.
